I dragged myself to an early morning yoga class this past weekend.
Before we began the series of poses, the yoga instructor said “give yourself permission to rest” as part of your practice today.
Permission to rest when you are navigating a 100+ degree environment and moving through a series of postures that require serious effort?
Then she repeated the “permission to rest” statement at the end of class to carry that throughout the rest of our weekend.
Permission to rest as I become keenly aware of a never ending professional to do list that I try not to think about for 36 hours each weekend?
And when I try to settle my mind a bit during daily meditation, I have become keenly aware of a pattern of thinking which I have affectionately labeled plurrying — combination between planning and worrying. The urr word part makes it feel more comforting.
I took this permission to rest thing literally the next day. Any idea I had, any to do list item I thought about, any project I was thinking about tackling … permission to rest. And it felt really weird, especially for someone who is known for her endless drive and energy. But I also know that constant revving has an underbelly of difficulty sleeping, feeling worn out, and looking toward the future or stuck in the past. So I began again. And again. And again.
Once in a while muttering to myself that this is the opposite of relaxing. Not quite sure what the rules of permission to rest are yet, but giving it a go again next weekend.